What's wrong with being comfortable? What's wrong with feeling safe? Nothing...as long as that feeling comes from a healthy relationship where the feelings are mutual.
Sometimes, the hardest relationship to break up from is not the stifling one...it's the relationship that FEELS safe and secure simply because it's comfortable. If you're struggling with a relationship but can't figure out why, examine one word: FREEDOM.
Are you free? Not from obligation or commitment, but are you free to live the way you want. Are you free to follow your heart? Are you free to quit the wrong job to pursue the right one? Are you free to spend time with family, friends, those around you who make you feel good and balanced?
If the answer is a reluctant "No," you might not be as safe as you thought. Manipulation isn't always the result of an evil person trying to control us; we can also lend ourselves to manipulation, or even hand control of our lives over to another person, forcing them, in fact, to make decisions for us.
In some cases, an unbalanced relationship of this kind can regain its equilibrium once the "weaker" party has staked a claim. In other cases, it's time to move on. So take a look at that word. Make sure it applies to you and your partner. And if it doesn't, stake a claim. As soon as possible.
The toughest step, to paraphrase Al Gore, is facing an "inconvenient truth." But in order to be free, you have to be willing to free yourself! Talk to your partner. Talk about the decisions you intend to make for yourself.
If these decisions urge your partner to leave or cause them to feel they cannot continue this relationship, then a break up may be inevitable. YOU should not be in this relationship. Be strong. Set yourself free, because no one else will. In fact, no one else CAN.
"Pink's announced task is to determine what states of mind we need if we are to be free to act otherwise than as we actually do..."